So let me start out by saying my inspiration for doing this blog is my buddy Kirstin! I always wanted to but never have... and I do love to write out feelings or things going on in my world... hence the reason I own a journal that I do write in! But even though Kirstin is my inspiration for writing this we obviously have two completely different blogs, mines random and hers has a meaning! :)
Anyway, I will start with big stuff recently... Obviously if you are reading this you know me so I will not talk about how I grew up and blah blah blah! Here we go:
2008 was one of the worst years of my life ever!! I couldn't have prepared myself for all the things that came crashing at me last year!!! From getting in an accident in May to dealing with my uncle dying from Cancer and that being the first person I've known to have that and to see how it is, is just horrible and I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy it hurts to think that he had to suffer the way he did! On top of the emotional stress dealing with a family that was crumbling before my eyes was the next hardest thing to go through! A lady came in and tore apart my family at the drop of a dime and it seems the only ones effected by it were us! And till this day it still crosses my mind on a regular basis! And the pain is finally going away slowly but surely... and to top that one off really nice I got a another car... and a month later as if the year wasn't going bad enough already, I got into yet another car accident!!!! It truly was a trying and testing year... but I can say I am glad 08 is over and 09 did start off on a better foot.
Whether 09 stood on that foot for a long time I am not quite sure, see the year started with me getting my old car back because the man I sold it to was a co-worker and he fixes cars and I was able to buy the car back! So that was exciting! But as the month goes by things start to change... J gets a call from his family to find out his father is very very ill and things could be bad! That was a time that was hard on him and after the horrible year I had before, it was my time to step up and be there for him! After about a month, it was a week before Valentines day weekend, and Je'von gets the call that his father passed... it was heart breaking! I couldn't help but cry for a few days because I can't imagine the pain of losing my father. And regardless of how close you are there is still a connection there and it was very hard! But he has made it through it ok, and I know it certainly has effected him in many ways and he still thinks about it (rightfully so) it's only been a lil over a month... but I think he has been amazing and doing so well! I love him to pieces!!!
So this year has to bring some hurt to my world as well and, here it is... my current struggle and something that has since occupied my mind is the wellness of my grandmother and her soon move away from me! :-( I can not describe how much it hurt inside to hear that she had to go to the hospital again 2 weeks ago and that they had to keep her over night and that the end result was the fact that she had a minor stroke! :_( And after that being said I can't explain how much it breaks my heart to know that she won't be staying and living here anymore with my parents! Every Sunday when I go to the house... she won't be there! When I call and no one is answering it's not because she's on the other line! And just all the stupid things you get use to seeing and hearing just won't be there anymore and I can't get over it!
With that said, of all people I am happy to know that she will be with my Tia who will take amazing care of her just as my mom has but she just lives soo far for just a day trip! I am really going to miss my grandma come April 1st or so and she will be living in Chicago! I just don't know how it's going to be! :_( She's been such a significant part of our family for 9 years that being without her is hard to imagine! It overwhelms me in so many ways and completely consumes my thoughts!!! And in many ways has caused me to be very distant to one that I love so dearly because talking about it is the hardest thing for me to do without breaking down! And I keep trying to stay strong but tears keep welling up and my vision gets blurry, then my face gets warm, and a headache comes along and before you know it I am full fledged crying again and its so hard to face! And this here is that wonderful lady! She is true inspiration of someone who is sooo strong and loving and would do anything to help you! She is my Wela!
For now this is how I will end... and I am sure I will talk about this wonderful lady again since she has completely consumed my thoughts! But its getting late and tax season is calling for me in the morning! ttyl
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